How do I get my partner to ride with me?
‘How do I get my partner to ride with me’ is a question I’ve been asked quite a few times by both men and women. They, like me, love cycling so much that they want to share its many benefits with those closest to them. So here’s a few tips that might help. Before you read on, please excuse the stereotyping and generalising. I’m assuming a low level of bike skills applies here (just like me before I took up road cycling). These thoughts certainly don’t apply to every woman.
Be patient and understanding
Women generally approach activities like cycling differently than men. It starts early in life and patterns are set. If you cast your mind back to your childhood you’ll recall that if you were a boy and rode a bike then you probably did some daredevil stuff like riding off jumps, or at the least rode around for hours on end with your mates. Girls on the other hand tend to amble along, not ride as far, generally don’t take risks and stop for a chat. Sound familiar? It was certainly the case in my household.
So when adult women start riding a bike again they generally don’t have too many fundamental bike skills other than being able to balance and turn the pedals over. That was certainly the case with me. As I said, I’m making some generalisations here.
So if you’re a man or woman trying to encourage your female partner to ride a bike then you need to be patient and understand that she’s probably not very confident or even skillful on a bike. Don’t expect her to want to jump on a road bike, and hit the closest road for a 50 km sprint around the neighbourhood. Let her dictate the pace at which she progresses. For example, if she’s not keen on clip-in shoes to begin with, then encourage her, but don’t push her into it. Perhaps it’s better to start with flat pedals and running shoes and progress to clip-ins.
Find a bike skills course
You could do some research and find a local bike skills course. Sometimes these are run by or at least promoted via bike shops. Other times they could be run by bike clubs, cycling groups like Cycling NSW or even local councils. Cycling Australia runs a program called She Rides that encourages women to learn to ride, or refresh basic bikes skills.
Find a group for her to ride with
Ask other women like me who you already know enjoy riding and ask them what sort of rides they do. You can’t expect a novice rider to want to join your 30 km per hour Sunday coffee ride without at least starting a bit slower and working up to it. My partner and I sometimes ride together and sometimes go our separate ways. He rides a lot faster than I do and I think it’s only fair that we meet our own needs.
Help get things organised
If you take away all the excuses and domestic chores, then your wife or partner will be more likely to say yes when you suggest a ride. This could include helping with household chores that she usually undertakes so she has some free time, organising someone to mind the kids for a couple of hours or even hiring some domestic help like a cleaner.
Tell her she looks great in lycra
Encourage her to spend a bit of money getting kitted out so she feels good when she goes out on the bike. Don’t give her all your hand-me-down stuff like your old helmet and gloves and expect her to feel keen about riding a bike. That doesn’t mean you have to start with the most expensive kit and equipment.
The same thing applies to the actual bike. If she’s not sure if she really wants to become a regular rider then it’s better to start on a cheaper bike or even a borrowed one. I started my riding on a bike that cost me about $1,500 and have since upgraded. Many of my friends started out on cheaper flat bar road bikes, hybrids and even mountain bikes and have all upgraded when they caught the cycling bug.
Enter a community bike ride
For me, having a goal to train for, works well. So find a bike ride in your area that she can prepare for. Don’t make it too difficult and long, that can come later. For example, in Sydney every October there’s a ride called the Spring Cycle which is 55 km long. It goes from North Sydney to Sydney Olympic Park and is a great introduction to riding.
That’s easy – if possible, both start riding at the same time so that you learn together. I had ridden when I was a teenager and my partner was a novice, but we rented bikes, enjoyed the experience and then purchased entry level bikes and gear. We have ridden together and apart ever since, and try to do organised rides together so that we can learn from each other – she is better down hill and I’m a better climber and we really enjoy zipping along between climbs and descents.
Hi Nicola,
I think it is not that hard if both have some common issue like Fitness. I and my partner both like to be fit. And we love to cycle. Your tricks are awesome 🙂
Best regards
Kawser Ahmed
A couple’s cycling repertoire can be expanded by utilizing drafting sometimes.
The rider having the lesser capacity must learn and use the principles of drafting to reduce wind resistance, as well as the front rider should be conscious of them.
It also isn’t necessary to ALWAYS ride together… For a lot of women, riding with other women may help, as it will help the blokes to ride with other blokes!!! This may indeed assist in making their rides together more fun!!!